Raising a teenager is scary, but we have to embrace to hard work.

Raising teenagers is such a challenge. I know, I’ve got one. However, it is up to us as their parents to guide them through the difficulties that arise and the larger-than-life feelings that happen. Our teenagers are somewhere in that fun in-between stage, kind of like the Brittany Spears song “not a girl, not yet a woman.” For them they are not a child but not yet an adult, although they may feel like they are. Or even the opposite where they are wanting to hold on desperately to childhood with a refusal to grow up and an insecurity of how to grow up.

We know that teenagers are not always right, but then again, neither are we as parents. As adults our stressors are much different from our children’s and sometimes keeping that in perspective can be difficult. As parents we are thinking about our mortgages, student loans, or even larger things that have recently affected America such as COVID-19, the decline of the current economy or our children’s educational system. Our teenagers face a separate type of stressors that sometimes we as parents have separated ourselves from due to our ever-growing stressors and responsibilities.

However, our children are struggling with social anxieties from peers and media, peer pressures, declining teachers within schools and quality of teachers and educational supports, wanting privacy and somewhere in their parental approval. Adolescent impulsiveness is predictable filled with poor choices and criticized and judged by the world.

Raising teenagers has been complex however, if you are a millennial like me this is also probably the first time you are raising one! Our generation invented social media however, this newer generation has almost perfected the craft. This additional factor has exploded in a sense that our children now have access to information and public opinions or view (right/wrong and in between) that we only had limited access to on and our Myspace Top 8.

So, what do we do as parents when some of the tables have not only turned but changed so dramatically?  We must remember to remember to empathize with our kids. We cannot avoid their pains or act like there feeling aren’t real. We must learn how to motivate our children and at the same time make peace with slow progress. Reminded ourselves that any progress is better than none. What to do when you as the parent is feeling the big feelings, well we must remember that just like them we do not always have the answers and when we feel our lack of control, we must remember that what we put out into the Earth is what we will also get back. Reminding yourselves and them that we must go through this and do the hard work involved to get through it.